also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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