It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
