i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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