Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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