was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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