i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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