Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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