Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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