Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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