she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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