She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
