All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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