i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
