Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize