Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
well you can't waste a boner
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
God, I missed his penis.
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