How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
