pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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