Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
