Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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