if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
