If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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