Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
