Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
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Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
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