; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
