I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
