There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
