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I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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