Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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