Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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