Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize