I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
