he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
