if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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