exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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