party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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