i permit you to call me
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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