I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
