i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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