We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
