Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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