We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
