i love accidental penises.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i think my cat just said my name.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
