Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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