So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
