the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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