There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
