We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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