dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
