My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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