Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
