You smell like stripper and shame
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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