She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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