we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
