Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
