She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
