ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
