if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
