"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
