Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
