Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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