I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
