Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
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He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
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But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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