Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
