Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
