these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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