I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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