Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize