this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
it's like iHOP with fire
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
