So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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