Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
